Feelings of Guilt
by Princess Poptart243
Summary: (AU, Ishimaru and Ishida are brothers rather than personalities- Ishida is the Super High School Level Street Fighter.) . Ishimaru experiences extreme depression following the second Classroom Trial, mourning the loss of Oowada. Instead of abandoning feelings like Ishida, he plunges even deeper into despair than anyone could have thought possible for Ishimaru.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Nightmares**

* * *

" _There's no way you did it, Bro! Tell them they're wrong! Yeah, they're wrong! Why aren't you defending yourself!?_

 _"Because it's true! They're right! I did it!... Go on. Start your voting thing, Monobear."_

 _"Roger!"_

 _"DON'T!"_

 _..._

 _"And Fujisaki Chihiro-kun's murderer is... Oowada Mondo-kun! However, the vote wasn't unanimous._

 _"Ishimaru-kun. Why did you vote for yourself? ...Oh well, fortunately for you, you were saved by the majority. I can't wait any longer- It's punishment time!"_

 _"NO! Wait! I said_ _ **wait, god damn it**_ _!_ _ **Wait! WAIT!"**_

 **"WAIIIIIT!"**

Ishimaru sat up in his bed as he screamed, drenched with cold sweat, breathing heavily. Tears ran down his cheeks as he turned to look at his sleeping brother, shaking his shoulder to wake him up. "Ishida... Ishida..." He whispered, his voice and body quaking with fear and distress. "Ishida, please, wake up. I had a nightmare."

The more aggressive of the two tossed and turned, trying to ignore the whimpers of his younger brother. "Mmm... calm down, it was probably nothin..." he mumbled, breaking free of Ishimaru's grasp as he rolled onto his side. "...Go back to sleep, 'Taka."

Kiyotaka stared down helplessly at Kiyondo. For as long as they had been brothers, Kiyondo was always given the order, _"Look after your brother, Kiyondo-kun_." He couldn't be bothered to babysit anymore- especially not in the middle of the night.

"But Ishida-"

Ishida sat up and grabbed Kiyotaka's wrist, flames emitting from his big red eyes.

"Taka, that's enough! You're 16 years old, that's too old to come crying to your brother about nightmares! Especially now! Every day at this school is a nightmare within itself, and you're concerned about a couple of bad dreams!? Suck it up!"

With a huff, Ishida flopped back down on the bed, turning his back to his younger brother and shutting his eyes. "...Ishimaru Kiyotaka, you damn baby." he murmured lazily before dropping into a deep sleep once again. Ishimaru stared at him, unable to move- not that he wasn't used to the scolding he recieved from his no-nonsense older brother. That was just what to expect from the Super High School Level Street Fighter.

He lay back down on his bed and followed the patterns on the ceiling, refusing to close his eyes for fear that the horrific guilt-driven nightmare should send him writhing in agony a second time. _It's all my fault_ , he thought angrily. _Oowada-kun is dead because of me. Turned into butter... Though I have yet to comprehend how that is even remotely possible._

Ishimaru bit his lip, folding his hands together on his stomach. It was going to be a very long night.


	2. A Dangerous Solution

**From the Desk of Ishimaru Kiyotaka**

 **Date: I've lost track.**

 _It's been exactly six days since Fujisaki-kun's and Oowada-kun's "passing". Since then, I've experienced a dream that replays Oowada's conviction- I wake up sweating and screaming right before his execution._

 _I've come up with an idea to avoid it, although it may be deemed unhealthy, I'd do anything to stop seeing that awful moment in my mind._

 _ **The best way to get rid of this nightmare is to-**_

* * *

Kiyotaka closed his journal quickly as he heard a knock on the door. Clearing his throat and wiping his eyes, he turned to the door and asked, "Who is it?"

A loud bang on the door made him jump. "It's your brother. Open the door, I forgot my key."

He sighed and walked to the door when another thought struck him.

"How do I know it's you, brother? What if someone else is on the other side of the door? What if whoever is there is plotting to kill me as I let you in?"

"..." Kiyondo turned away from the door and visibly facepalmed. There's no way Kiyotaka could be so paranoid that he wouldn't let his brother into their room. It was so annoying, and now he was getting angry.

 _ **"Fine! Taka, if you won't fucking open this god damn door, I'll just open it myself!"**_

Gritting his teeth, he swung around and made one last hit, making a heavy indentation in the metal, pushing his fist so that it went through the door.

Withdrawing his fist, he looked through the hole he had made. His brother was staring blankly at the hole, clutching Ishida's key in his pale, quivering hand. "Y-You..." he whispered fearfully. "You broke the door... Now nobody needs a key. Someone might kill us from outside our door, Kiyondo. Does that not disturb you?"

Kiyondo sighed and put his arm through the door to turn the handle and let himself in. "No, it disturbs me. I'm sorry, Taka, I should learn to control my temper." He picked up his key and put it in his pocket.

"I'll get Monobear to replace the door, ok? Kill him if I have to." A smile spread across his face as he put his hand on Kiyotaka's shoulder. "Come on, get out of your room. It's an hour to Night Time, you've been in here all day."

Kiyotaka nodded and followed him out of the room.

* * *

 **2F- Weight Room- Day Time**

The Weight Room at Hope's Peak Academy was frequently used, by the few students who enjoyed battle (i.e. Sakura, Kiyondo, Mondo) and the students who just wanted to stay in shape (i.e. Kiyotaka, Aoi, Byakuya, etc.). Basically, everyone except Hifumi and Touko used it.

 _Fujisaki-kun would have used it too... If he ever had the chance, that is._

Kiyotaka hung his and his brother's coats up on the wall and threw his arms up to stretch. "Kiyondo, why did you suggest the weight room? What about the pool or the classroom?"

Kiyondo squatted slightly and stretched his legs. "You've been locked up in your room for a week, brother. It's time you got out of bed. Lift some weights and make those muscles ache."

He stood up straight, swinging around to lay blows on a punching bag. "I also thought you could forget about the last trial. It took a serious toll on you."

Kiyotaka hummed in agreement, sitting on the bench to lift a 10 pound dumbell. "I suppose it did... But why do you care? You're the one who got rid of feelings to become a street fighter."

He looked up at his brother, waiting for an answer. It never came. The only sounds that greeted him were the thumps of Ishida's fists attcking the punching bag.

He sat with his hands in his lap, staring at the wall. _I know how to stop the dreams_ , he thought. _I need to write it down in my journal before I forget..._

He stood up and threw his jacket back on, heading for the door. "I'll see you later, Kiyondo, I want to get a shower before Night Time rolls around." the door creaked slightly, and then shut as Kiyotaka made his way back to his room. Kiyondo watched him leave, shaking his head.

"There's something not right about that guy..."

* * *

Ishimaru closed the door and sat down at his desk. The journal was where it should have been, seemingly untouched by anyone else who may have murder on their minds. He opened the journal to the page he left off on and put his pen to the paper.

* * *

 **From the Desk of Ishimaru Kiyotaka**

 **Date: I've lost track.**

 _It's been exactly six days since Fujisaki-kun's and Oowada-kun's "passing". Since then, I've experienced a dream that replays Oowada's conviction- I wake up sweating and screaming right before his execution._

 _I've come up with an idea to avoid it, although it may be deemed unhealthy, I'd do anything to stop seeing that awful moment in my mind._

 _ **The best way to get rid of this nightmare is to**_ _**not sleep at all.**_

 _I figure that if I don't sleep, I won't be able to see the dream. It's an unhealthy way to live, I know, but I can't have it driving me insane like this. I'll record my findings over the course of the next three days._

 _Until tomorrow,_

 **Ishimaru Kiyotaka**

* * *

Ishimaru closed the journal and hid it under the desk. _Nobody can ever see this journal. Ever. Not even Mondo could have seen it._ His vision became wet and blurry as the memory of his late kyoudai drove him to his knees, cheeks turning damp from his tears of grief.

All the while Kiyondo worked hard in the weight room, unaware that the dark pit of despair had chosen its victim of the week.

He worked hard, unaware that the victim was his own brother.


End file.
